Search This Blog

Friday, March 16, 2007

Man At His Best

I love my wife and family but, like most middle aged married men, I also like those rare occasions, maybe once a year, when they go somewhere and leave me on my own for a night. We were swapping stories in the office today about the things we do when we're left alone. Mark wanders around the house playing the electric guitar, Keith puts the TV and the radio on, I go in the shower and leave the door open so I can hear the music playing from the other room, Rob goes in the garden to smoke. Here I am, tapping away at this while dinner cooks, switching between Classic FM and Five Live, drinking Pinot Noir, reading a book, a magazine and a paper, enjoying that blessed indecisiveness which is the natural state of the relaxing male. Tonight I shall watch the DVD of Pan's Labyrinth, which I'm told is a bit too violent to watch with the wife. Then I shall go the bed, read for ages and then sleep sideways. In the middle of the night if I wake I'll go and watch TV or catch up with the cricket. When they come back tomorrow I shall be delighted to see them all but they can never fully understand how I've enjoyed the time on my own. What's the name of that song? "How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away"?


  1. That is so true. Even tigers need personal space. When I'm left on my own for a weekend or a night, I tend to put the radio on (radio 2,4,6 Music or BBC7 usually) in a couple of rooms, so I can still hear everything as I wander through the house, have a shower with the bathroom door open, cook a meal that is horrendously bad for me etc etc. And when my partner returns, I'm glad to see her. Safe in the knowledge that while she was having some personal time of her own, I was squandering mine in a frivolous and, usually, unproductive way...

  2. And there was I thinking i was the only bloke who does this kind of stuff.

  3. Anonymous1:52 pm

    Playing those records from the 'his' section at satisfyingly loud volume, watching the first two thirds of The Godfather Trilogy and generally 'squanderibg time in a frivolous and unproductive way'.

  4. The cliche of men not being able to multitask is disproven by our ability watch tv and listen to the radio at the same time all this whilst destroying enemies on advance wars. Loud music and kippers the perfect solo meal.

  5. An old western on the dvd player, smoking an actual cigarette in my own house, an overdoes of chinese food, laid out on the couch in my underwear and 'house coat' - heaven

  6. i'd just be happy if i could stop my six-year-old from turning down the volume every time i put the decemberists on the stereo.

  7. Eat bad food
    Read in bed
    Leave all lights on
    Leave loo seat up
    Leave laundry on floor
    Watch endless telly/DVDs

  8. It's not just smoking... It's drinking 3/4 bottle of weak red wine, posting ancient tracks on the blog, trying to watch DVDs (but turning them off after ten minutes), having a bath (but a really quick one), eating fried potatoes and a big chunk of meat. Then getting that inevitable wave of boredom around ten o'clock...