Thursday, October 11, 2007

Is three pints enough?

England's cricket team have just won a one-day series in Sri Lanka, which is the first win in the sub-continent since God was a boy. Asked if they were going to be celebrating, Paul Collingwood, still smarting from being caught in a lap-dancing club, said they now had a "three-pint rule".
Opinion on 5 Live was divided. Is a mere three pints self-denial only previously seen among the Amish or actually Quite Sufficient?
Obviously, were this the Pakistani team this wouldn't be happening at all and I don't see the West Indian or Indian teams feeling they hadn't marked the occasion properly if nobody had wound up rat-arsed in a drifting pedalo. I can't believe the Australians or the South Africans feel that every celebration calls for a headfirst dive into oblivion. It would be nice if the England team felt the same way. It's not the drinking in this country. The French and Italians do far more actual drinking. No, it's the desperate need to get Out Of It.
These days my calculations about beer intake tend to relate to the length of the Tube journey which is to follow. Which would make three pints more than enough.


  1. Anonymous8:39 am

    3 pints of what though?
    By the by, I heard on radio 4 this morning that per capita alcohol consumption actually went down in the UK last year, and for the second year running. (Down to 8.9 litres from 9.4 in 2005). I don't know how booze-cruise trips figure in this, and accept that the sheer amount of alcohol drunk can have less impact on behaviour than how it is drunk, but it does suggest that the last days of Rome may not be nigh after all.

  2. Anonymous8:53 am

    On the contrary, the West Indies team had a curfew on the recent tour to England, which several (particularly Chris Gayle) regularly broke.

    Andrew Symonds was sent home from the 2005 Ashes tour for turning up drunk to a game - iirc there was a wheelie-bin involved somewhere. And Ricky Ponting himself is an admitted recovered alcoholic. The South African team has also been accused of having a drink culture based around a clique of six players including captain Graeme Smith (see the current issue of Wisden Cricketer).

    I'll grant you Pakistan and India (though not the Indian fans that were at Edgbaston last month - boy they could put it away!!)

  3. Why is actively enjoying drinking a bad thing? sure there are problem drinkers there are problem ... in every sphere of human life eg. spreaders of computer virues, over eaters, love cheats, I sure crown green bowls has "problem" bowlers. The English's self obsessed percieved problem with drinking is an inability to enjoy enjoying ourselves. David you realise according to the puritans in the government 3 pints in one sitting makes you a binge drinker.

  4. Anonymous1:32 pm

    Personally speaking, three pints is a nice number. At my age, I know the next morning if I've had four pints. Three is fine. Oh, go on, then - three and a half, but then I'm going.

  5. Three or four pints is a nice number, enjoyable without leaving you feeling wasted the next day. Unfortunately 3 or 4 tends to make me think that 5 or 6 is a nice number, and then I'm on a very slippery slope indeed.
    I also share David's concerns about the tube journey and middle aged bladder control issues.

  6. Anonymous10:57 pm

    Every time a rugby team wins a match, the BBC interviewer makes some comment about how they're going to celebrate by getting pissed. It's completely pathetic, but unfortunately seems to be ingrained in our culture these days. Makes me want to emigrate.

  7. Hurrah another emigrator I'm suprised there's anyone left, off you go and find some boring expat hell hole with no sport, music, art, decent pubs, rubbish beer, full of dull joyless "grass is always greener bores", just leave the keys under the mat bye.

  8. Anonymous8:08 pm

    "The English's self obsessed percieved problem with drinking is an inability to enjoy enjoying ourselves"

    And of course it's well known that it's impossible to enjoy yourself without alcohol.