Search This Blog

Loading...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It's a press release. It's the opposite of news.

EMI have announced some personnel change at the top of the organisation which involved the elevation of someone called Cory and, more interestingly, this curious statement:
EMI Music CEO, Elio Leoni-Sceti, said: “Cory is a highly talented executive with a passion for music and a unique technology-based skillset. He will help us deliver our goal of leveraging the power of digital across our business, particularly in the key areas of consumer understanding and analytics, content creation and digital marketing in order to strengthen the relationship and interaction between our artists and their fans."
Now I have a degree in bullshit and have worked around the media and music businesses for thirty years and I cannot begin to hazard even the vaguest guess at what he actually means by those words. Then it struck me. It's not supposed to mean anything. It's a bunch of clich├ęs rounded up yesterday by some corporate flack, roughly rearranged so that to a passing space traveller it just about resembles a sentence and then given to the boss to sign. The boss will have said 'you reckon this is OK?' and sent it out to various news oulets who will all have cut and pasted it on to their sites. The people it's really aimed at, the people who work within EMI, will probably be combing it right now for meaningful omissions.

9 comments:

smfifteen said...

Sitting on a stationary bus in Piccadilly today, a van pulled up alongside: "Total Food Logistics Solutions" declared the decals. I've no idea what service they offer: what do they actually do?
Another van seen a few months back was busy "delivering enclosure solutions". They sold filing cabinets.

Andre Carlos Raposa said...

There is a thing called the Chomskybot here
http://rubberducky.org/cgi-bin/chomsky.pl
Looks like the Press Offices at music companies don't need it, though. In fact, Press Offices anywhere.

The Old Batsman said...

Translation: 'Can we please employ someone younger who can tell us what the f**k we have to do to sell a record these days...'

Now, let's focus group it, baby...

Archie Valparaiso said...

I'm working on a bus-side campaign: GOD PROBABLY DOESN'T EXIST - IF HE DID, WAZZOCKS WOULDN'T USE LEVERAGE AS A VERB.

As to what the press release means, isn't it quite clear? Cory's just been saddled with answering Lily Allen's e-mail.

Paul Waring said...

"...the power of digital...."

Digital what? Or is 'digital' a noun now?

*shuffles off, muttering to himself about standards today etc...*

michael50/50 said...

Was trying to arrange a meeting with a bank flunkey today , he said he would "diarise" me.
Seemed perfectly apt.

Andy said...

I look forward with interest to Robert Fripp's reaction to this one (his diary is at www.dgmlive.com). He's had a long running issue with various record companies selling King Crimson music as downloads without any contractual agreement or consent. To cap it off he's then had other fights to get hold of the royalties, which invariably are a poor deal for the artist.

I can't recall whether EMI is one of the companies, but if so I can imagine it won't be long before Cory is hearing from the erstwhile sage of Wimborne.

In fact, I'm sure Word could put together a really interesting article on the on-going power struggles between artist and record company hegemony. I'm sure Billy Bragg and Dave Rowntree would be more than ready to talk and Mr Fripp's contribution could be most interesting (so long as he is asked the right questions in the right way!)

office pest said...

I think it means "all our artists will now be obliged to twitter, all the time; their fans will love to receive it; and then we'll drop some adverts in".

natasha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.