Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Why they should export the Royal Wedding

Every year the American National Football League elects one if its fixtures to be played overseas. Two teams arrive in London and compete at Wembley Stadium with much attendant hullabaloo. The aim is to extend the reach of the brand, access new revenue streams and introduce a bit of novelty.

Why doesn't the Royal Family do the same thing with the wedding of William and Kate? As far as I can see there's not a lot of interest in the upcoming nuptials in this country, regardless of people's opinions about the monarchy. So why not take the banner event and have it take place somewhere people are really interested and are relatively pomp deprived? There's America of course, where they traditionally go big on this sort of thing. But the Windsors could look further afield. They could have people bidding for it, as if it was a Rolling Stones tour. China, Kazakhstan, Dubai, New Zealand, all sorts of governments and peoples might be interested in having our ancient rite played out on their streets and on their TVs, the frocks and rocks cooed over by their TV hosts, the scandal about the stag party chewed over by their gossip magazines, their own celebrities squabbling about who gets a decent seat at the service.

It would pay benefits, not just in terms of net receipts but also in terms of the subsequent boost to tourism. I think it bears thinking about. Times are tough. You've got to go where the market is. When they came back they could have some sort of homecoming ceremony, possibly even a renewal of vows. Then they could open the gallery at Buck House and let us gawp at the staggeringly tasteless ornaments they've been bought by their new foreign friends. Come on. It's win-win.


  1. Brilliant.

    And there's always the chance that embarrassing Uncle Andy might get left behind somewhere suitably far-flung.

  2. Please, no, don't offer the nuptials to New Zealand. We are very likely to accept.

  3. There's no reason why we can't hire a few William and Kate look-a-likees and send them to the outer reaches of The Commonwealth (and beyond). They could be like The Drifters (or The Harlem Globetrotters), whereby at least ten outfits with the same moniker are playing at some dodgy venue around the globe simultaneously.

  4. Just back from the States and they are "going nuts for it". Much more interested than we are. I would donate towatds their travelling expenses.

  5. Ditto. Not in the States please, the coverage is bad enough here already.

  6. What a novel idea! It would help international relations too.