Ideally we'd restrict the hugging to the female colleagues who are clearly friends but it's never easy to draw that line, particularly in a group situation. If the two other men at the gathering have "gone in" it would be ungallant not to follow.
Since the whole world turned luvvie and it became impolite not to pretend that everyone is our best friend, there's a growing tendency to view formality as coldness. It's got to the point where men would rather be accused of being too familiar than of being too distant or - ridiculous as it may sound - somehow "anti-women. The men are just trying to be au courant. That's why women are having to do so much fending-off.
I don't have any solution to this problem other than standing back, looking ill-at-ease and proferring a firm hand to shake. If she wants more than that, it's Ladies Choice.
Since the whole world turned luvvie and it became impolite not to pretend that everyone is our best friend, there's a growing tendency to view formality as coldness. It's got to the point where men would rather be accused of being too familiar than of being too distant or - ridiculous as it may sound - somehow "anti-women. The men are just trying to be au courant. That's why women are having to do so much fending-off.
I don't have any solution to this problem other than standing back, looking ill-at-ease and proferring a firm hand to shake. If she wants more than that, it's Ladies Choice.
I'm very much with you on this, but there's some fantastic comedy generated, such as when the two different meanings of " French kiss" collided and a genteel lady received consoderably more than she'd expected...
ReplyDeleteYou've got my vote, but didn't you cover this fairly recently under hugging and high fives or something similar?
ReplyDeleteWhatever, it's good for a prompt reissue.
I hear what you say. However, how long would it be 'til the second hand comes in 'over' the handshake and rests on top of the recipient's hand?
ReplyDeleteAnd how is one supposed to know if it's just the one kiss, or two (or even three!) - who wants to risk going in for the second one only to find the other person turning away? And do you actually kiss, or just touch cheeks (in which case, what's the point?). It's all so confusing.
ReplyDeleteWhere did this need to be kissy-kissy come from? I have a sense that it'a become more widespread over the last twenty years or so.
ReplyDeleteI was told that it was how the middle-class show each other how much time they've spent in France or Italy, on holiday would be good,in their second home even better; fulfilling the role that the 'mid-Atlantic accent' once did.And now that it's cheaper than ever to make that flight when was the last time you heard some one try it on? Gordon Ramsey?
Older heads will know how far back into the post-war era this -mwa, mwa - middle-class affectation stretches; cheap air travel, 80's property boom? Was it always the preserve of The Luvvies?
Thanks for the mention!
ReplyDeleteI agree that it may well be men thinking they'll be rude if they don't kiss. Which is why I think it's all the more important to set the precedent of taking the same action you would for everyone.
(Not least so that the George W Bush's of this world don't think it's ok to massage the shoulders of the Angela Merkels...)