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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

We just got this email at the office

I can't decide whether it's real or a supremely clever piss-take, possibly written by Chris Morris.

23 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:24 pm

    It's oh so real, I'm afraid. My students are currently revising for exams and when asked, 'What would you like me to go over?', far too many answer, 'Everything'.

    matthew

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  2. I suspect it is a real one as well....We, at ITV, get them all the time. Usually from GSCE or A Level media studies wanting to know how much it would be to advertise across all of the channels. Or my favourite is "How much does a TV ad cost?"

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  3. Judging by the ones I get regularly from lazy students who want you to do their research for them, it's totally real.

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  4. Mat Vigour1:35 pm

    Oh come now Mat, why should a teenager understand how advertising works? Half the marketing execs I've met don't get it either!

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  6. Apart from anything else, the insolent tone of the email would be enough for me to hunt down the individual concerned and beat some manners into him. Civility costs nothing. It reads as though DH should be eager (grateful, even) to lend assistance.

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  7. Anonymous1:48 pm

    At the age of 40, I've gone back to school to do a second MA. It's been an astounding culture shock to see that, even at post-graduate level, the desire to appear clueless is so deeply ingrained now. And I think that's what it is. Not stupidity or ignorance per se... But having a dismissive attitude is deemed absolutely essential for the sake of peer acceptance.

    I sat through a "presentation" on lesbian fiction last week in which the student summed up, literally, by saying: "There's like, a bunch of people saying that this is radical or something because of the gay thing. Then there are some other folks who are, like, right wing or something and they don't like it 'cos it's not men and women, it's women and women. And then there's, you know, the whole queer theory thing". That was post-graduate coursework at a major university. Verbatim. I shit you not.

    I think that goes some way to explaining the "Hey, I'm really dumb - can you do this for me" tone of the email you received.

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  8. There were lazy students in my day. Too lazy to write a letter, put it in an envelope and post it. Email has the unfortunate effect of putting the lazy in touch with the working world.

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  9. Also too lazy to use apostrophes or capital letters.

    500 years from now all English literature will read like it's been texted from the top deck of a bus.

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  10. Yep, looks real to me. It's the continued mis-spelling of bandwidth that makes me think so, along with an air of genuine confusion.

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  11. Anonymous2:39 pm

    It's a Mixmag reader, what do you expect?

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  12. Anonymous3:00 pm

    I can well believe it is genuine. I teach English as a foreign language to students who hope to take post-graduate degrees at UK universities. Far too often, my colleagues and I receive hastily written e-mails from former students requesting we complete their university assignments for them. Some of these students are really quite taken aback when we refuse.

    I blame the internets.

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  13. A fair point Mr.Vigour, although isn't that why they are on the course in the first place?

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  14. I know one of the joys of ageing is dispairing at nonsense of "yoof" but is this email any worse than Jack straw claiming he didn't have a head for figures the other day (although he's a senior minister and member of british society of staticians)?

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  15. At least this one is still there at the end of their year.

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  16. Anonymous5:34 pm

    Few years back I posted a design for a cheap video display system on the 'net. Some 3rd year student emailed me to ask if he could use it as his project, and would I please design him a Printed Circuit Board.

    Just today, I was looking on a 'Software job' board where people can bid for programs to be written. One person had put up their college project for someone to do for $30-$50.

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  17. I think it could quite possibly be genuine. I work in tv/film and have had all sorts of requests and well, demands from work experience boys and girls. I have to say they have been a mixed bag but over all most just expect you to hand it to them on a plate. No initiative whatsoever. I find that part of it really disappointing. I have had a couple of good ones - the most memorable and totally rubbish one ate sushi for lunch each day then pulled a sicky saying he thought he had eaten bad sushi. Fair enough - innocent until proven guilty until he came back in two days later and had sushi for lunch. When I asked him why he was having sushi again especially since it had given him food-poisoning (dodgepot-itis)he said that he just wanted to check in case it wasn't the sushi that had made him ill. I give up.

    But seriously, the thing that pisses me off most about that sort of work experience person is that there will be someone out there who is so good who is missing a great opportunity we could give them.

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  18. It is absolutely real. We're being encouraged in our office to social network as part of a PR campaign. A 25 year old collegue began his Ecademy profile with,

    "So, basically, I'm a bit of a big deal...."

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  19. It almost doesn't matter whether it's real or a piss-take, because it is so accurate: it does represent a certain type of student and the attitudes they display. I have received similar emails from students who can't be bothered to attend classes, read books, or find out what they are required to do. A recent example was a student emailing me two days before the end of the exam period to ask whether the module he was allegedly taking with me had an exam. Yes, it has, I replied. And it took place last week.
    Why are they like this? Well, it is possible to get on university courses through the clearing system with two grade E passes at A level. In last summer's exams, 96% of students passed. So there's an exam that you can pass by turning up, it seems. No wonder they are clueless.
    New student to me at the beginning of the academic year, brandishing the first year BA Eng Lit reading list: "Er, do we like have to *read* these books?"

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  20. Interesting. It doesn't display the low cunning of the spiv, does it? The tone is more like "I'm a bit shit so can you do some work for me?"

    Bet they get lots of this in China.

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  21. I get emails like that from journalists. I tell them to go look something up on wikipedia. Don't know what happens after that.

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  22. It is kind of hilarious. But then you turn up for some jobs and these people have actually been hired to 'assist' you. Their lack of interest and enthusiasm is staggering, and you feel highly resentful that a kid who desperately wants such a job doesn't get a look in, while Daddy's friends have secured it for idle lazy git, who no doubt will progress to running a production company in Shoreditch within a few years.

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  23. I'm still wondering about your graphical user interface.

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