Heather Mills Maths

Heather Mills regularly embarks on media initiatives to rehabilitate herself. In each case she digs herself a slightly roomier hole. Even more than most famous people she just can't resist the opportunity to talk about herself. That must be why she does it.

She has a new publicist. She's taking legal action against the old one, rarely a good sign. This new person, called Joe Dolce, has steered her in the direction of the Daily Mail. Say what you like about the Mail, they're always prepared to give people the space to make an idiot of themselves. This is a long read.

There are many gems here, some of them arithmetical. Take the revelation that she took sixty close friends and family on holiday to the Caribbean island of Necker. Even if we were offering them a free holiday I think most of us might have difficulty mustering that many close family and friends.

This weekend she's cooking 1,000 vegan meals for poor children in the Bronx. She claims this is at a personal cost of a million dollars. Now even if she were to take the more expensive option and actually buy the meals rather than cooking them (assuming there is a quality vegan outlet in the Bronx), that would mean she was splashing out a thousand dollars a head. That's a lot of noodles.